This post was written by Andrew Haddock, Senior Manager of Data Partnership at apree health
Writing about being gay at work can be a daunting challenge. The fear of stepping away from code-switching—of finally discussing my life and relationships openly—often feels overwhelming. Sadly, even today, being gay in the workplace can expose individuals to discrimination, homophobia, and harassment.
My professional journey hasn’t been easy. I’ve faced harassment, from name-calling and derogatory comments to even physical assault. I lost a job simply for being openly gay. While that loss was painful, the relentless barrage of microaggressions took an even greater toll. It was exhausting to constantly switch from talking about my boyfriend to referring to a “girlfriend,” or to pretend I was single and dodge mentions of social events I cherished with my partner during casual conversations.
In 2018, I made the difficult decision to leave an organization where I had dedicated nine years of my career—an organization I had envisioned staying with for the long haul. A dramatic shift in leadership brought about a culture that left me feeling unsafe. Although the new leadership spoke openly about the importance of diversity, their actions told a different story. They seemed more interested in maintaining silence than fostering genuine inclusion—diversity in message, but not in practice.
Microaggressions became a daily reality, from intentionally misgendering trans colleagues to reducing parenting benefits for new queer families without making any equivalent changes for heterosexual counterparts. The atmosphere became so toxic that I sought ways to work from home to avoid interactions with my coworkers. The final straw came when the Chief Human Resources Officer—the one person I had hoped would advocate for me—suggested that I keep my personal life “quiet at work” because it might offend others. Her words, coupled with her dismissive tone, stung more deeply than I could express. Shortly after securing a new position, I submitted my resignation.
In the spring of 2019, I joined apree health, and for the first time, I felt safe to be my authentic self. I saw leaders who shared my identity—queer men and women living and working openly. It was a revelation. Together, we participated in Pride parades and sponsored AIDS rides; suddenly, the causes that mattered to me and my community were embraced by my employer.
As I approach my sixth year with the apree team, I come to work every day as my true self. My coworkers know my husband and celebrate our contributions to the organization. My queerness is not just acknowledged but celebrated. The diversity I bring enriches our conversations and allows us to serve our members and their families better.
apree has established employee resource groups that provide safe spaces for queer individuals while promoting tolerance and fostering allyship among our peers. I can share my stories without fear of repercussions. While this may seem simple to some, for those of us who have spent decades hiding in the closet, being able to stand up and be seen makes a profound difference in our lives.
My life is undeniably better because I can be who I am at apree. I am grateful to work in an environment where authenticity is not just accepted but celebrated. Together, we are building a workplace where everyone—regardless of their sexual orientation—can thrive and contribute their best selves.
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